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bluepueblo:

Bell Tower, Tollos, Spain
photo via sweet

bluepueblo:

Bell Tower, Tollos, Spain

photo via sweet

Since

I have no other outlets that are private enough for me to invest any real insight on, I decided to come back to this blog for a little while. I’m confident that no friends of mine follow this so I’d prefer to write more personally on this blog instead of my regular tumblr (which will remain unnamed). 

I’m extremely lonely. For awhile I couldn’t tell if I was “lonely” because I kept telling myself that I was, or if I actually was feeling isolated and insecure. But the more I wake up in the morning to nobody, the more I have no one to call after class, the more time I spend doing homework and watching stupid television shows on the internet, the more I know for sure that I need to fix something. 

I’m not depressed or anything. I’m not so sure that I’m even upset. Well, I get upset often. It’s confusing actually, now that I type/write this out. I don’t have very many people around me anymore. I somehow went from an overabundance of friends and people to see to all but two people. Seeing the same two people extraneously can become really routine after awhile. 

I decided to deactivate my facebook account. Why? Partly out of spite. I can’t take sitting on that site seeing you talk to everybody but me. Again. I will not be fooled and disrespected like that. I’d rather not see anything at all. But also, I deactivated my account because I could feel myself gaining a dependency on my cyber-relationships. In reality, they aren’t “cyber” because I do personally know everybody I’m friends with, but since I live miles away from nearly all of them, speaking with them so often and relying on their responses…. it becomes a world that isn’t real for me. I become to enwrapped in an environment that I’m not in and that isn’t healthy.

I will admit, openly, how disappointed I am that the person I was “spiting” hasn’t even batted an eye to my facebook absence. I guess that is your way of admitting to me that you are living up to my low expectations and that you can’t handle anything serious when it comes to me - not even the simple friendship that I request. I’m really really disappointed in you. And in turn, I’m disappointed in myself for being so easily convinced that you would be respectful and nice now that we have cleared things up. Out of sight, out of mind? Let me just tell you, if that is what works for you then you are one lucky bastard. 

Well I will sit here and wallow in my bottle of wine and my laptop. I will continue to only do half of the dishes, and to only take out the garbage but not the recycling. I will play toss with my poor dog from the living room to the kitchen, and I will be the perfect, boring student…and still get average grades. Yes, I’m forlorn. I’m down. 

I need a change. I need something to happen - but it won’t until I stop thinking about it. Hopefully getting this down, get’s it out.  

theniftyfifties:

Gene Kelly in full flight, 1950s.

I love Gene Kelly!

theniftyfifties:

Gene Kelly in full flight, 1950s.

I love Gene Kelly!

(via iiiilkmays)

brain-food:

People like me deserved one of these. We wish nobody in our beds!

brain-food:

People like me deserved one of these. We wish nobody in our beds!

dicktease-debbie:

snoggers:

nirvanaandneopets:

Luna and Neville….THERE REALLY IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US

No way in hell that is Neville….
wow.
wow.
wow.

damn, Neville got his shit together

dicktease-debbie:

snoggers:

nirvanaandneopets:

Luna and Neville….THERE REALLY IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US

No way in hell that is Neville….

wow.

wow.

wow.

damn, Neville got his shit together

(via iiiilkmays)

bluepueblo:

Bell Tower, Tollos, Spain
photo via sweet

bluepueblo:

Bell Tower, Tollos, Spain

photo via sweet

Since

I have no other outlets that are private enough for me to invest any real insight on, I decided to come back to this blog for a little while. I’m confident that no friends of mine follow this so I’d prefer to write more personally on this blog instead of my regular tumblr (which will remain unnamed). 

I’m extremely lonely. For awhile I couldn’t tell if I was “lonely” because I kept telling myself that I was, or if I actually was feeling isolated and insecure. But the more I wake up in the morning to nobody, the more I have no one to call after class, the more time I spend doing homework and watching stupid television shows on the internet, the more I know for sure that I need to fix something. 

I’m not depressed or anything. I’m not so sure that I’m even upset. Well, I get upset often. It’s confusing actually, now that I type/write this out. I don’t have very many people around me anymore. I somehow went from an overabundance of friends and people to see to all but two people. Seeing the same two people extraneously can become really routine after awhile. 

I decided to deactivate my facebook account. Why? Partly out of spite. I can’t take sitting on that site seeing you talk to everybody but me. Again. I will not be fooled and disrespected like that. I’d rather not see anything at all. But also, I deactivated my account because I could feel myself gaining a dependency on my cyber-relationships. In reality, they aren’t “cyber” because I do personally know everybody I’m friends with, but since I live miles away from nearly all of them, speaking with them so often and relying on their responses…. it becomes a world that isn’t real for me. I become to enwrapped in an environment that I’m not in and that isn’t healthy.

I will admit, openly, how disappointed I am that the person I was “spiting” hasn’t even batted an eye to my facebook absence. I guess that is your way of admitting to me that you are living up to my low expectations and that you can’t handle anything serious when it comes to me - not even the simple friendship that I request. I’m really really disappointed in you. And in turn, I’m disappointed in myself for being so easily convinced that you would be respectful and nice now that we have cleared things up. Out of sight, out of mind? Let me just tell you, if that is what works for you then you are one lucky bastard. 

Well I will sit here and wallow in my bottle of wine and my laptop. I will continue to only do half of the dishes, and to only take out the garbage but not the recycling. I will play toss with my poor dog from the living room to the kitchen, and I will be the perfect, boring student…and still get average grades. Yes, I’m forlorn. I’m down. 

I need a change. I need something to happen - but it won’t until I stop thinking about it. Hopefully getting this down, get’s it out.  

theniftyfifties:

Gene Kelly in full flight, 1950s.

I love Gene Kelly!

theniftyfifties:

Gene Kelly in full flight, 1950s.

I love Gene Kelly!

(via iiiilkmays)

brain-food:

People like me deserved one of these. We wish nobody in our beds!

brain-food:

People like me deserved one of these. We wish nobody in our beds!

dicktease-debbie:

snoggers:

nirvanaandneopets:

Luna and Neville….THERE REALLY IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US

No way in hell that is Neville….
wow.
wow.
wow.

damn, Neville got his shit together

dicktease-debbie:

snoggers:

nirvanaandneopets:

Luna and Neville….THERE REALLY IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US

No way in hell that is Neville….

wow.

wow.

wow.

damn, Neville got his shit together

(via iiiilkmays)

hotparade:

Ben Vautiervia

hotparade:

Ben Vautier
via

(Source: thepulpgirls)

Since
woah, it feels like it’s been forever since i’ve been on here.

About:

Art History. Knowledge. Trees. Connotations. Elaborating. Photos. Story-telling. Colors. Dignity. Geniality. Cultures. Grammar. Journaling. Procrastination. TRex. Sneakers. Novels. Authors. Artists. Dimples. Ideas. Sunlight. The Smiths. Scissors. Birds. Windows. Inspiration. Humor. Impressions. Contacts. Vampires. Obsession. Red. Sarcasm. Hints. Ambiguity. Latin. Passion. Exploring. Music. Trying. Reading. Naivete. Protection. Beds. Lakes. Studio Art. Dreaming. Credibility. Versimilitude. Perks. Understanding. Blankets. Children. Oil paints. Cranberries. Outside. Punctuation. Straylight Run. Feelings. Satisfaction. Palimpsest. Angles. Combinations. Diction. Fantasizing. Receiving. Scarfs. Tangibility. Grasp. Lyrics. Conversation. Airplanes. Saving. New. Museums. Stretching. Obtaining. Fiction. Infinity.
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"Take me out tonight, because I want to see people and I want to see life"

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